My little dog is no longer with us.  She took ill a few days ago, stopped eating, barely moved even when I tripped over her (she had this habit of following me round the kitchen).  This morning she was definitely out of sorts. The kids were standing at the car waiting for me while I hunted for the keys and the front door was wide open.  Normally this would be an immediate escape attempt on the part of the dog but she just lay where she was and looked at it as if to say, I know I should be going somewhere but I can't be bothered anymore.  I was still at work when husband rang asking for the number of the vet.  Seems when he came home she fell over and had some sort of fit.

The dog never came back from the vet.  She was over 15 years old and both the vet and husband agreed that whilst it she could have a treatable condition, in a dog of her age it almost seemed cruel to prolong her life.  She had already been suffering from incontinence since the summer and, naturally, picked the tablets out of her dinner so I was welcomed by little puddles each morning at the back door.  I swear she had an evil streak because I had bought puppy pads for her to use and she went right beside it!

It's hit the husband more than me, even if I get tearful about it every 10 mins or so.  I think the speed with which she deteriorated is a bigger shock than anything.  Even a few weeks ago, whilst obviously older and slower, she was still very active and still barked at the postman every morning.  I suppose in some ways I had been expecting it over the last year or so when you could see her getting older and crankier. Just didn't think it would happen before I got home from work today.  The house will seem very strange without her in it since we got her about 4 months after we first married, just a couple of months after the eldest was born.  I'm sure I'll have a wee sob later when I go open the back door to let her in for the night and she's not there. Just have to console myself by remembering she's at peace now and she never suffered during her life.

Hope doggy heaven is all it's cracked up to be :)