Cassie and Coffee

I am very very sorry. I have been neglecting my blog and I offer all my avid readers (?!) a sincere apology. Ok the 3 people with nothing better to do with their time

I've been busy.
Easter happened and time spent with the extended family (joy!) 
My eldest broke his wrist so spent the holidays in plaster.
Then I fell and sprained my ankle on a school trip I was meant to be helping on. I don't think I'm getting an invite back to the next one.

Week after that I got a call offering me an ongoing temporary job. I am now a secretary to a Consultant Paediatrician. Sounds very grand but I have spent the last 3 days at work twiddling my thumbs and re-organising charts. Considering I've only actually worked 5 and half days it's pretty boring so far.

My friend's father died 12 days ago. As my friend said he was stubbornly refusing to give in. He was given a maximum of 8 weeks at the beginning of February and lived for 13 weeks.   I was at the funeral in England on Friday and I have just about caught up on sleep missed cos I had flights to catch at the most horrible times of the day. How come there are so many people awake at 5am?!?!?!

Finished the first assignment of my new course earlier today and sent it through. Not sure it's what was wanted but I have felt like that about every assignment I have written.

Ashes to ashes is just about to start and I think I will give it my full concentration tonight.  Is it just me that has a wierd thing for Gene Hunt?? He'd do for an older man, lol.

I'll try not to leave it so long next time...xx

To dream that you have cancer, denotes hopelessness, grief, self-pity, and unforgiveness. You feel you are wasting your life away. This dream also represents areas in your life which are bothering you, disturbing you, and hurting you in some emotional way.

I dreamt that I had two brain tumours last night...

I am in pain.  Every part of my body seems to be stiff and/or sore.  My legs ache, my back aches and for some reason my toes give me trouble when I'm walking down the stairs.

No, I haven't been involved in some horrendous car accident. And I haven't been unfortunate to fall down a hole on the beach (another story!).  I only went out to deal with the tip that is my back garden.

Gardening should come with a health warning!!

Having children at school the inevitable happened...nits!  I spent yesterday evening killing them and removing them from my daughters head, then threatened to shave all her hair off cos I have no plans to do that again anytime soon :(

Been itching ever since..paranoia I hope!!!

Do you ever feel like you're going round in circles?  Welcome to my head today.

The course I started in October has an assignment that requires me to conduct interviews and do research. Seemed simple enough but can I get anyone to talk to me?? You must be kidding. Doors closing all over the place and now I'm seriously struggling. I spoke with my tutor a couple of times and his only advice was to grab someone off the street or think of a new subject to do my research on. So today I rang the student support office to see if I could take a break from my course. Nope, it's not on the list of courses that you can do that. So my only option is to quit or get over this 'hurdle' and finish the course. She even offered to get my tutor to ring me again since I aint seen sight or sound from him apart from the time he thought he'd missed a call from me and it was the call he'd already rang me back about 3 weeks beforehand ffs!

Thing is, I haven't really been keeping up with my studying anyway cos everything was stressing me out too much. So I'm not sure I'll be able to complete the course anyway. I've already forgotten half of what I've already covered and I need it for the end of the year.

Guess I'll have to wait for the tutor to ring me with his scatterbrain approach to life ( I hate really smart people who have no common sense!) and see if I can manage to fix the hole I seem to have dug for myself. I don't want to be a quitter but sometimes in life you have to cut your losses and move on.

Stupid of me to think I could ever go back and get a decent education. Maybe I should just accept that I'm not cut out for university?

I recently discovered a website in which people anonymously post their secrets on postcards.  I'm now wondering which one of my many secrets to send in. Although, the criteria includes not having told the secret to anyone else. And I have very few secrets that I have never shared. I don't think anyone knows all my secrets but a few people know some of them.

One of my secrets is that I am an excellent liar. Strangely I don't lie as often as I used to but perhaps that's a confidence thing. I don't need to be Lil Miss Nice to everyone anymore so I have the ability to be brutally honest.  And is not telling a lie a form of lying if you also don't tell the truth and let people assume?

Anyhoo, it's late. My bed is calling since I had to evacuate it earlier than I had anticipated today and with this daylight saving thing I appear to have lost an hour. Not sure how losing time saves daylight ?!

I found a quote recently that I really liked...

"The truth shall set you free but first it shall make you angry"

It has now been moved to number 2 in my list of quotes since I discovered this one...

"I am NOT difficult. I'm just different"

Hehehehehe

I got an invitation today to join someone's personal blogging network thingumy. Someone likes me enough to ask me to join. Me?? Crazy, mixed up, lil me!!!

I dunno whether to laugh or cry. Laugh hysterically cos I have another one trapped (evil laugh) or cry cos someone is actually reading the crap I write and it means I'm gonna have to think now before rambling (bad times).

But no matter. Thank you for you're invite and I have humbly accepted.

I've had a couple of bad days. Not on a personal level, but been getting bad news left right and centre.

Husband crashed the car on Friday morning. Have to admit my first thought when he rang me was f*k sake, not again! Admittedly it's been 6 years since someone totalled our car but I never forget, lol.

My friend's father was told he has terminal cancer 6 weeks ago. Last week he was taken into hospital with pneumonia but got home again a few days later. Feel helpless because her family are all in England and she's torn between her children and her dad at the minute. Husband has already said he'll take time off work so I can go to the funeral but the waiting is horrible.

I was speaking with another friend last night who's life has gone down the pan in a big way. So much so that he was telling me about all the ways he considered killing himself over the weekend. Including the 2 plastic bags still crumpled in the corner.  He promised me he's going to see a doctor today and wants to get help. I'm thinking about driving down later and checking that he has.

And in the midst of this I had another friend some online and start chatting to me. Because I was on the phone I didn't answer straight away and that was a fault. Logged on again this morning to a message telling me to delete her blah blah blah. I understand everyone has off days. I have more than most! But I'm not into childish games. I put up with a lot from my friends and I'm willing to forgive pretty much anything. But I'm fairly blunt too and believe in being upfront. And I'm meant to be catching up with her and a coupla other friends this weekend. That should be interesting!!

Life for me is ticking over as ever. Nothing to do and no money to do it anyway. Could be worse...

I have a cold. I have inherited this from my firstborn child who blames his uncle, my brother, for infecting him.

I'm tired. I went out last night at 10.30pm and didn't get home until 4am. Then f*kwit spent the day refereeing at the local sport club so I had to endure the constant bickering of my children.

I'm confused. Last nite I offered a friend a lift home. And when I dropped him off at the door his goodnite hug and kiss went a little beyond friendly.

But I'm also laughing. Have you seen the Comic Relief Dancing thing??  Fantastic